Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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