He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
