God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Green mimosas i think yes
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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