i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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