You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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