how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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