in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
