my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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