The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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