Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it glows. i had to have it.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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