Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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