singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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