ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
