Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Randomize
