STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
