i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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