high people should be assigned attendants
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
