So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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