Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I think my moral compass just broke
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize