butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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