How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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