Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
