Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
