Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
