I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
