Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Let's get the cat blown out
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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