Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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