whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
God, I missed his penis.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
