Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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