A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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