Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Jerry, you need to find god
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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