You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize