were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
