he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
