no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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