I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
