I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize