His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
