Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
