There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
