shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
