Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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