The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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