Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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