Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
