Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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