i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
