Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
