Can Purell be used as lube?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
