mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
