i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
