whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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