508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
