she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
