I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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