I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
