the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
