Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize