i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
