I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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