so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
