I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize