I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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