That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize