so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
