we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
love makes seman taste better
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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