i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
